Read more about our Truly Amazing Woman of the Month


Fall in Love with Yourself: Dr. Marni Amsellem Teach Us How to Write a Love Letter to the Person You Need to Love Most … You!

A Note from Hope Katz Gibbs, publisher, BeInkandescent Health & Wellness magazine — Since she published it in 2004, I have long been a fan of Michelle Lovric’s How to Write Love Letters.

Offering sample writings, historical examples, and practical advice, this invaluable and beautifully packaged book contains guidance for all occasions that call for eloquent and inspired love letters.

“I share modern model letters to adapt and use in specific circumstances, as well as tips on letter-writing techniques and creative suggestions for packaging and delivering messages of love,” explains Michelle. “These are peppered with fanciful, original Victorian illustrations, making the look of this volume as romantic as the letters within.”

With charming specificity, guidance and appropriate words are provided for various would-be Shakespeares, from the “morning-after lover” and the “anniversary lover” to the “frustrated lover” and the “neglected lover.” Also included are a short history of epistolary romance, 76 model letters, and a host of helpful and witty epigrams.

What this sweet book doesn’t touch on, though, is how to write a love letter — to yourself!

For that advice, we turn to Dr. Marni Amsellem, a licensed psychologist in Connecticut and New York, who recently penned The Big Idea Journal: A tool for facilitating change and bringing your idea to life.

Marni begins with a quote from Oscar Wilde: “To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.” Scroll down for more of her tips. 

How to Write a Love Letter to Yourself

By Marni Ansellem, Ph.D., “Reflecting on Reflecting”

Some of the most powerful human experiences are to love and to feel loved. Typically we think of ‘love’ in the context of our relationships with others. Nurturing these relationships is certainly life-altering and life-enriching.

This post focuses on a different kind of love. The love that affects a life-long relationship. The love that comes from within. This post is focused on self-love. The love that impacts the most important relationship we ever have.

We can choose to celebrate this relationship.

As we are in the midst of February, the month that compels us to celebrate love, I’m suggesting that we make a deliberate effort to honor self-love.

To help you do this, I’ve provided some ideas to help you nurture self-love. The prompts below redirect your attention to this highly important relationship. You can open up your journal to a blank page and write any or all of these prompts at the top of the pages. Alternately, you can take a few moments to reflect on them now. Regardless of what you do, take some time to love yourself.

Here are some questions to guide you:

  • Three of my favorite qualities about myself are __________.
  • I am proud of myself for working toward or accomplishing ___________.Kind words that someone else has said to or about me include ________. This made me feel _________.
  • Kind words that I have said to or about someone else include _________. This made that person feel ___________.
  • I consider myself very knowledgable about or skilled in ________.
  • One action I have taken recently to honor myself is ________ and it made me feel _______ to do this.
  • One way that I can continue to show myself love is ___________.

Regardless of how you focus on all of the lovely things you can think about yourself or say to yourself or recall about yourself or feel about yourself, know that they all affect your relationship with yourself.

And the tone for all of your relationships is set with your own relationship with yourself. As Sri Sri Ravi Shankar has said, “Find the love you seek, by first finding the love within yourself. Learn to rest in that place within you that is your true home.”

Learn more: